he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
