No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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