hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize