I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Say something about gay babies.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
