I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can't turn off my feet"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
