you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
