it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
