i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
