like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
