you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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