Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
