my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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