i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
