You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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