Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
