Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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