Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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