Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
