I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's shark week go big or go home
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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