have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
