Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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