He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
just found out that she named her cat after me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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