4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
