Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
