I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
