Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dick very happy bro
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