it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
