Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
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Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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