She announced her abortion via fbk
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
