And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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