theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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