Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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