Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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