Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Four minutes until I can fart!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
