took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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