Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
