I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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