1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Life is so much better after having sex.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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