At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
