I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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