How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
