ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
