i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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