clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
