have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
