I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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