I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize