the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
