Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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