So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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