She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
