i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
