i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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