dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
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She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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