Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
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It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
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I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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