so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
