He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
