Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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